Skint Dad

The true meaning of Mother’s Day

SkintDad shares what Mother's Day means to him and why splashing out might not be what your mum really wants.

Mother’s Day is a little bitter sweet for me. I love my mum dearly, but she was taken from me just before I turned 18. My childhood is full of great memories packed of her and how she made me happy.

I didn’t really get an opportunity to spend money on my mum for Mother’s Day. I did make an effort for her though (with the help of my dad). A handmade card, made under my duvet one evening when I thought she wouldn’t know, and burnt toast served as breakfast in bed. Happy memories that cost no more than a few slices of bread and a sheet of paper.

While I cannot ask my mum today if she was happy with her Mother’s Day, I deep down know she was totally content with it. She didn’t want or need me to go and buy an experience day on a boat or an afternoon tea with champers, or get her a fancy scarf or a big bunch of flowers. All she really wanted was me and her other children – and all I wanted was her.

So now, I look to my wife and mother of our children. What does she want this Mother’s Day?

I asked her outright: if money was no object, what would you want for Mother’s Day? She thought about it for a while.

She started to come up with ideas of a weekend at a health spa, massages, jet streams, time to read and be quiet. Then she realised that’s not how she really wanted to spend the day. While a spa weekend would be lovely, it would be without the people she wanted. She wants to be with her family. My wife wants to do nothing special, although maybe not having to make her own cup of tea or do any chores.

All she wants is to spend time (not money). A simple and free option. I’m sure this is the same up and down the country too.

On one hand people want to save money on things they buy and question the need to spend. However, on the other hand, it could be considered a bit tight and stingy to not spend any money on your mother when she was the one who gave birth to you! But that’s probably what your mum wants. They don't want you to spend money. While she may love a treat, she probably wouldn’t want you stretching your budget further than you can manage.

When it comes to it, Mother’s Day is just like every other day. But, it’s a day that has led to more consumerism - a day between Valentine’s and Easter to boost the spend on greetings cards. I’m not trying to be a scrooge to mums; if you really want to spend money then go ahead, if you don't have the money then please don’t feel bad. I just keep wondering what mums really want and perhaps it’s just that little bit of extra appreciation.

So do you need to spend money? Well not if you cannot afford to. At the end of the day, I know mums, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or any other loved one, would much prefer your time, than you spending money on things they may not even need.

To all the people raising families - enjoy Mother’s Day.

And mum, I love you x